In no uncertain terms

            Eli had been feeling gross. He’d awakened and rolled onto Ben, rolling his hips down into his older lover’s groin but Ben had shifted him off and told him in no uncertain terms that they didn’t have the time for it that morning. Eli had pouted and tried again but Ben patted his hip and kissed him before slipping out of bed to go shower.

            Eli had snuggled back under the covers and cried; curling up on himself and poking his stomach, he decided that it had gotten flabbier since the last time they’d had sex. He peered around at his butt and then ran a hand along his thighs, pinching a bit of his fat up with a whine.

            Ben didn’t want him anymore! He was fat; he was unappealing; he couldn’t breathe! By the time Ben returned from his shower, Eli was a mess of tears and kicked out at him when his lover tried to console him. Ben watched Eli squirm away with the blankets around his naked form and lock himself in the bathroom and he sighed but let him be.

            There really wasn’t time to bring him down from this tantrum – he had to finish cleaning and make breakfast in time for Lee and Keiran’s arrival.

…

            Eli sniffled at Ben when he joined him in the kitchen. Ben opened his arms invitingly and Eli leaned into them briefly but pulled away when the doorbell rang.

            “You get it,” he ordered Ben and his lover sighed sadly and went to answer the door. Keiran bounded in for a hug, dropping his bag in the front entrance and barely kicking his shoes off before he ran off to find Eli. Lee was a little more civilized in his greeting and Ben let the older man help him in the kitchen to finish up breakfast.

            Keiran dragged Eli – carrying a throw blanket – into the dining room when Lee called them and Lee offered him a hug. “Lookin’ good, Eli,” he purred and Ben smiled, but Eli pulled away and flopped into a seat, wrapping the blanket around him fully, even up over his head.

            Keiran settled in the seat beside him and Ben plated food as Lee poured juice for him. “Eli, please take that blanket off your head for breakfast. If you’re cold, you can find a sweater, okay?”

            Eli stuck his tongue out at him and waited a moment until Ben counted to two before he finally tugged it off to his shoulders. “/Fine/, whatever Ben,” he huffed, pushing his food around his plate. Ben had given him too much, as usual. Keiran, he noted, had less than him and he glared at Ben angrily before he started eating.

            Lee gave Ben a look and Ben only nodded faintly. They mostly ate in silence, snippets of conversation passing between the four of them until Lee ordered Keiran to hush and finish his meal and Keiran piled his plate with more pancakes and got another serving of fruit salad.

Eli pushed half of his pancake onto the table, syrup-covered and masticated. Ben caught his hand before he pushed the last of his bacon – which he had cut into tiny pieces – off too.

“Elijah. Enough. Take another pancake please and eat it after you get this cleaned up.”

Eli shook his head, wrenching his hand free and picking up the bacon pieces in his hand, sprinkling them in the bowl of fruit salad. Ben stood to move around the table and Eli tipped the plate of leftover pancakes on the floor, spilled his glass of orange juice so that it rushed over the edge and into Lee’s lap and shoved his chair back hard enough as he jumped up that it crashed to the floor.

Ben caught him and Eli struggled wildly, pushing back against him. “NO! Fuck you Ben, fuck you to hell, I’m not fucking eating anymore!” he shrieked. Keiran’s eyes widened and he looked to Lee who shook his head and directed him to join him in the kitchen.

Ben hauled Eli out of the dining room and towards the stairs. Eli kicked his shin but Ben was not releasing him for anything. He propelled him up the stairs and to the nearest corner.

“Stand there, Elijah. You move from here or say /anything/ and your spanking will be much worse. I am not pleased with you.”

Eli pressed into the corner when Ben finally let him go and he listened to Ben’s footsteps going down the stairs. He waited until he could hear Ben speaking quietly with Lee and then he headed for the bathroom, locking himself in.

He made himself sick, knowing Ben would make him eat more of the stupid breakfast after he spanked him. He didn’t need to have that many calories in him. Bacon was fattening! Didn’t Ben know that? He forced himself to be sick once more before he brushed his teeth and gagged into the sink, shaking as he flushed the toilet.

Fuck Ben. Maybe he was like Lee; maybe he /did/ have a fat fetish. Well, Eli wasn’t going to stand for that. He moved back to his corner and Ben was waiting with the hairbrush.

Ben spanked him hard, not holding back. He spanked him for the tantrum and for Eli having left the corner but Eli refused to divulge the real reason he had abandoned his post for the bathroom and Ben didn’t guess. When he was finished and Eli had calmed sufficiently, he was sent downstairs to clean up his mess and eat what Ben had plated for him – a pancake and fresh bacon as well as a little bowl of fruit salad (bacon pieces obviously removed). Eli ate it angrily, quickly, before he moved to the basement living room and switched the TV on.

Ben and Lee were supposed to be going out to some stupid book signing and Keir and Eli had planned to simply stay home and watch television. When he heard the door shut behind the Tops, he relaxed a little. Good, he was safe for a while from food.

Keiran found him downstairs watching The Biggest Loser and he curled up on the couch with him. “I hate this show,” he informed him. “Lee hates it. I bet its cause he doesn’t want them to be skinny,” he muttered.

Eli nodded a little and ran his fingers over his stomach, sighing. Keiran grinned, poking him in the side. “I lost those five pounds I wanted to, though! And Lee hasn’t found out yet. I’m back under 120!” Eli huffed, shrugging.

“You lose any weight?” Keiran asked, pinching his side and Eli self-consciously moved away. “No, fuck off. I’m still fat as ever.”

Keiran hmmed. “You been throwing up a lot?” he asked him. “I do it when Lee’s gone and he never finds out. Well, he found out once and he caned me for it but I told him it was ‘cause I’d choked on it and my automatic reaction was to gag and he felt so bad for caning me that he let me do whatever I wanted the rest of the day.”

Eli’s brow furrowed. “How often?” he asked. Keiran shrugged. “Usually I pick a meal a day and that’s what I’ll throw up. Mostly lunch, since I hate lunchy foods. Sometimes supper, though, if it’s a lot of food. Uh, I did breakfast and lunch the one day because Lee was making ribs and wings for dinner and I couldn’t resist.”

Eli nodded. “Oh. I don’t do it that much… since Ben caught me the second time, I only do it occasionally. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t work. But he thinks I’m fat, Keir…he should understand.”

Keiran frowned, nuzzling Eli’s shoulder. “He told you that? Eli, if he said you’re fat, he’s an asshole and he should go fuck himself. He doesn’t know anything. He should see that you’re trying to get skinny for him; selfish bastard. You know, Lee says that words hurt as much as physical hits. Ben’s abusing you. If he’s abusive, Eli, Lee and I can help you, y’know. We can get you away from him and we can make sure Puck comes too and you win all the stuff you guys own in court.”

Eli made a face, pushing Keiran a bit. “He’s not /abusing/ me, Keiran,” he wailed. Keiran shrugged. “First stage is always denial, Eli,” he informed him, flipping the channel to a different program. Eli frowned, brow furrowed deeply.

“He’s not abusive,” he whispered and Keiran shrugged again. “He’s not, Keir. He didn’t /say/ I was fat. He would never out and out say it to my face. Its jus’ in the things he does…like this morning, he hardly even looked at me when I tried to get him to fool around. He jus’ said ‘no Eli, no time for you right now’ and left. And th’other day, he said I couldn’t have ice cream for dessert ‘cause I’d had cake at work, but I frowed up the cake so I could have ice cream with him! He’s jus’ mean. /Mean/. He doesn’t get it. He’s all like ‘oh, you’re fine the way you are.’ /Fine/ isn’t sexy or pretty or /skinny/. Fine is mediocre. Fine is what’s not gonna keep him with me!”

Keiran sat up to console him, collecting his friend in his arms for a hug. Eli sobbed and Keiran tried to calm him down, telling him that he’d just have to try harder and be more discrete about it; he gave him a few tips, even, so he could throw up more at one time without overworking his throat and he told him of breath mints that worked wonders to mask the smell after if he didn’t have time to brush his teeth.

Eli hiccupped and calmed down eventually, enough at least to go curl up in bed a while. Keiran left him there and found Puck for him before he curled up beside him and snuggled with him until they fell asleep.

…

            Ben found them snuggled up together and he smiled faintly. Lee shook his head at the sight and collected his sleepy lover from Eli’s arms and Ben instead curled up with him as Lee took Keir out and closed the door behind them.

            Eli automatically pressed closer to his lover, feeling secure in his solidity. Ben pressed kisses to his hair, stroking his hand down his back to his butt, caressing him there affectionately. Eli squirmed and forced his hands to his back, making a face at him sleepily.

            “Stop,” he muttered whiningly. “Stop, Ben, m’fat,” he slurred, snuggling back into him and slipping back to sleep. Ben sighed sadly and cuddled him close, smoothing his hands over his butt again when Eli was asleep.

            He fell asleep at some point; when he woke up Eli was in their closet, trying on his collection of thongs and looking at himself in the mirror. He watched him quietly. For every pair he pulled on, Ben got a little more aroused until Eli would turn and puff out his stomach and wiggle his butt disgustedly, commenting to himself about how fat he was or how his butt was huge or how it was no wonder Ben didn’t fuck him anymore.

            Ben’s brow furrowed and he watched as pair after pair went into a trash bag and Eli stood naked in front of the mirror, puffing out his cheeks and stomach. He patted his cheeks down and huffed, sucking in his stomach as he turned to the side, trying to see what Ben saw in him. He decided it wasn’t much – he was sure he had no muscle tone, his ass was as big as a hippo’s and he was getting a beer gut even though he didn’t drink beer.

            Ben heard his little resigned sigh, watched him redressing in the dark before he felt Eli slip back into bed. He sleepily scooted back against Ben and Ben collected him close, sadly.

…

            Eli and Lee were making dinner. Well, Lee was making dinner and Eli was sitting on the counter, complaining until Lee ordered him down. “Where’s Keiran?” he asked. Lee shrugged a little; he’d woken up to find his lover gone somewhere with Ben.

            “Bet they ran away together,” he said quietly, huffily. “Lee, Ben thinks I’m fat,” he informed him. Lee hmmed quietly and turned around, offering a bite of the sauce to Eli. He shook his head.

            “When did he tell you that?” he asked him. Eli shrugged, hopping up onto one of the stools. “Doesn’t haffa tell me, Lee. He jus’ looks at me and I know he’s thinking’ ‘bout how fat I am and what excuse he’s gonna use not to haffa see me naked.”

            Lee’s brow furrowed. “Huh. Well, that’s kind of bitchy of him, eh?” he asked him sarcastically. Eli nodded sadly. “I’m frowing out all my undies, Lee. And I’ll make sure we keep the lights off when we have sex, if we do…what else you think I can do so he doesn’t see me?”

            Lee shrugged. “Hm. Maybe you should think about wearing a t-shirt or something when he fucks you?” he said, obviously not trying to contribute to Eli’s list. Eli sighed, nodding. “Maybe, Lee,” he agreed. “Maybe I can do like push ups or sit ups before he fucks me? Then I might seem a little more muscle-y?”

            Lee sighed. “Yeah, maybe, Eli. Because you seem pretty fat to me,” he said, shaking his head. “Have you gained weight? What, like ten pounds since the last time I saw you? I can see why Ben’s a little grossed out,” he spoke sardonically. “’Cause last time I checked, a guy your height and weight was definitely considered fat and Ben is /certainly/ a shallow man.”

            Eli caught the sarcasm and his brow furrowed deeply. “Leeeee! Fuck you!”

            He hopped off the stool and slipped out of the kitchen, hearing the front door open on his way to the stairs. He fled to Ben’s arms and Ben hooked him close, feeling his shuddering as he sobbed. Keiran made a face and looked up at Lee when his lover came out of the kitchen.

            “Lee?” he asked, concerned. Ben ushered Eli to the stairs, a little bag in his hands. Eli hiccupped and clung, making it difficult for Ben to get him upstairs. Eventually Ben simply scooped him up in his arms bridal-style and Eli wrapped his arms around his neck and burrowed into his chest.

            Ben deposited him in bed, leaning down to kiss him. Eli wailed when Ben left him but he only turned the lights on and then slipped back to help Eli out of his clothes. Eli squirmed, shaking his head. “Nooo, no, no, no, Ben, noooo,” he whimpered.

            Ben worked his pants off and then slipped the man’s shirt off over his head. Eli went to cover his stomach but Ben caught his hands above his lover’s head and straddled his hips, examining him.

            Eli cried quietly.

            Ben eventually released his hands and Eli squirmed away sadly, hiccupping. “Go ‘way! Goawaygoawaygoawayawayawayaway,” he whined, burrowing into the blankets, butt in the air. Ben leaned down to kiss his tailbone, running his palms over his butt and his thighs.

            “No, Eli,” he said softly. “I’m staying here. Turn around and let me see you, brat. I have something I want you to do for me,” he told him.

            Eli sobbed, shaking his butt at him as a way of saying no. Ben chuckled, nipping his thigh. He stood up and stripped out of his own clothes, shucking them aside and settling on the edge of the bed naked. Eli peered back at him, hiccupping before he turned, the blankets around him.

            “What?”

            Ben shook the little bag at him. “Come put these on, please,” he breathed. “I want to see you in them,” he told him.

            Eli scooted closer, never one to ignore a present. He tentatively took the bag and removed the thong and leg garters Ben had bought for him, frowning.

            “No.”

            Ben tickled his inner thigh as Eli scooted closer. He tipped his lover’s chin up and kissed his lips. “Please, Eli. I want to see them on you.”

            Eli looked at Ben, eyes narrowed, and Ben grinned, smoothing his curls back. Eli slid off the bed and tried to tug it on without Ben seeing but Ben tugged the blanket off of him. “Well, come and give me a show at least,” he purred, feeling his cock jump at the thought.

            Eli frowned but he started to tug the thong on a little more showily. Ben smiled, watching as Eli wiggled his hips to get the tight, lacy thing on over them. He moaned at the restriction to his cock and Ben’s cock hardened at the sight and the noises Eli was making.

            Eli pulled the lacy garters on too and clipped them to his thong, grinning at Ben as his lover motioned him forward. Eli giggled and danced over to him, watching Ben stroke himself before he climbed into his lap and he ground himself down into Ben’s cock.

            Ben groaned, head falling back and Eli pressed against his chest, kissing his neck. Ben didn’t let him kiss him there for long, wanting to see his lover, to drink him in. Eli was still self-conscious but as Ben shifted him back a bit and moved the thong aside to stroke his entrance, Eli melted.

            “Please, please, Ben, please, ohh-oh, I need you,” he whimpered. Ben nodded, laying him back in the sheets. For all Eli’s pleading, Ben took his time, dragging teeth and tongue over Eli’s body, hands seeking every part of him, getting Eli very much aroused and more sure of himself before he pressed into him and helped him over the edge.

            Afterwards, Eli lying curled in his arms, Ben softening inside him, he started to cry again. Ben held him close, stroking soothing hands over his back and butt as he shifted out of him and tucked him closer to himself. Eli sobbed inconsolably, hardly hearing Ben’s reassurances. He only calmed when Ben pressed him into the sheets and covered him with his solid warmth.

            “B-Ben, Ben, I’m sorry, I’m /sorry/, I needa be spanked, I needa be belted, you said…you s-said you’d belt me and Ben! Ben you needa belt me, I was b-baaaaad!”

            Ben hooked him close, kissing his tears away as he ran his fingers over Eli’s back and butt. Eli sniffled, pushing Ben up and clambering into his lap, clinging.

“Pleeeeeeease. Ben, I frowed up breakfast when you put me in the c-corner, I frowed up and and and Keiran told me I needa do it more if I’ma lose weight so you’ll love me and Ben? Lee said I should wear a shirt for when we have sex and keep the lights off and do sit ups afore and I’ma go on the Biggest Loser or the Last Ten Pounds for you, I will, Ben, I’ll lose however much weight you want me to so you’ll keep me, okay? I’ll lose a hundred pounds if I haffa, I’ll be skinnier than a dog, Ben, please keep me!”

            Ben didn’t know how to hug him any closer. He squeezed him, forgetting the soothing circles to simply hug him hard. “Oh Eli. My little boy. Shh. Shhh. Don’t say things like that, please, baby. Shh. I’m going to belt you, I am. And you’re going to write something for me, Elijah. You’re going to write something, later tonight. Shh. I don’t want you to lose weight; I don’t want you to think you need to do that. Let me help you, Eli, please.”

            Eli nodded, pressing close. He clung as long as he could before he knew he had to move off and let Ben punish him. He wouldn’t feel good until he had been belted, he knew that. Ben didn’t go easy on him and he refused to let him go afterwards, tucking him securely into the blankets and his arms in bed and letting him cling.

…

            Keiran watched Eli and Ben; Eli was snuggled into Ben’s lap, busy working on something in his lap. Ben was holding him around the waist with one arm, the other hand working its way in slow circles over Eli’s back and sides and up over his shoulders before it too joined the other around Eli’s stomach.

            Eli turned into his lover’s kisses, pausing in his work to nip his jaw and giggle, snuggling him happily. His butt was on fire but he couldn’t have been happier anywhere else. He needed the sting to remind him – he was loved, he was wanted, he was beautiful.

            He resumed writing, snuggled into Ben’s chest securely. For every line he wrote, Ben added something and re-reading the letter Ben was making him write to himself, he blushed and sighed.

            Ben was so sweet. You’re beautiful. There’s nobody to match you. I can’t believe you’re mine. I love every single part of you, Eli, from your toes to your curly hair. Mine. Sexy boy.            

            The most recent line from Ben made him the happiest, though – Trust me to know what I love, what I want, what I need. /You/ are all that matters to me; let me show you how much you mean to me.

            He set the pages down finally and simply turned into Ben’s chest, burrowing close. Ben held him and he felt safe and secure, warm and cuddled and loved – very much loved. He sighed, nuzzling his lover’s chest. He could feel the thong Ben had bought him through his pajamas and he could feel Ben’s cock answering his as he ground down into him discretely.

            Ben kissed his hair. “I think we have time for that this evening,” he purred, patting his butt. Eli took the hint and he squealed, heading for the stairs.

            In no uncertain terms, Ben was telling him he was beautiful.