Wedding Jealousy

            Keiran was jealous. Every time he turned around all he heard about was the wedding. ‘Ben and Eli are going tux-fitting and want us to come with them’; ‘Eli wants you to help him pick out flowers that aren’t too girly’; ‘Ben called and hoped we’d help send out invitations’.

            It wasn’t even /their/ wedding and here he was constantly bombarded with boring, incessant wedding crap and Eli’s stupid anxiety issues over /every little thing/! Lee was loving it but Keir found more and more that he was just getting sick of it. He even made excuses as to why he couldn’t help with certain things – work, class, an assignment he’d left too late. Lee noticed but let him mope until finally he’d had enough.

            Eli had asked Keiran for advice on flowers (weeks in advance) and Keir had promised to meet him to discuss it and see some examples at the florist’s, but he decided last minute not to bother going. Eli had called him to ask what had happened and Keiran had told him he had better things to do and hung up; Eli called Lee, crying, a few minutes later.

            When Lee caught up with Keiran halfway out to his car, Keiran balked. Lee half-dragged, half-ushered his lover inside and Keiran curled up on the couch with a huff, folding his arms over his chest. Lee gave him a look until Keiran sat up, but he refused to look at his lover after that. Lee settled beside him and drew him into the spread of his legs, soothing slow circles over his back.

            “What’s up, bunny rabbit?” he asked quietly. Keiran huffed again, turning dramatically so his face was buried in Lee’s side, their legs tangled. “Come on, Keiran. Talk to me, please.”

            Keir shook his head, half-head butting him. Lee sighed softly, moving his toes along the instep of his lover’s foot. “Talk to me, Keir. What’s the matter?”

            Keiran sighed and played idly with the hem of his shirt, shrugging. “Youdon’tlovemeenoughtomarrymebutyouwannahelpBenandEliwitheverythingeventhoughyou’resupposedtospendtimewithme,” he whined, words muffled and slurred into his shirt.

            Lee’s brow furrowed and he hooked him closer. “Keiran!” he exclaimed. “I /love/ you, what are you talking about?” he asked sadly.

            Keiran shrugged and looked up, nuzzling Lee’s jaw. “Never mind,” he mumbled, pushing out of his arms. “I just didn’t feel like going today; I’m tired and feel gross, okay? Tell Eli I’m sorry,” he said, moving to the stairs. Lee caught him and spun him back into his grasp, shaking his head.

            “Nuh-uh, mister. You come sit down and talk to me,” he said, leading Keiran to the couch. He tugged him down hard into his lap and turned the man’s face up to look at him. Keiran hiccupped and frowned.

            “Lee, stop. I don’ wanna,” he whined, but it was half-hearted.

            Lee nipped his jaw. “What is wrong?” he demanded.

            Keiran drew in a shaky breath and traced his fingers over Lee’s collarbone. Lee hugged him.

            “Lee, I’m real happy for Ben and Eli, I am,” he insisted quietly, shrugging. “They’re really happy, huh? Eli’s really happy and Ben’s really wonderful and their wedding’s gonna be beautiful, Lee, won’t it?” he asked. Lee nodded, smiling a bit.

            “And I can’t wait to see ‘em married and all, Lee. And I /do/ like helping Eli pick out stuff and everything, but Lee? It’s making me sad?” he ventured, nuzzling into him so Lee couldn’t see his blush.

            Lee frowned, rubbing his back slowly.

            “I dunno, Lee. They really love each other, huh? And it was so romantic, Ben asking like that and everything. At Christmas time, eh? Even though he was hurt. I dunno, I just feel sad, Lee. ‘Cause Ben loves Eli so much he wantsta marry him, but youdon’tlovemethatmuch,” his voice dropped and he mumbled into Lee’s shoulder.

            Lee hugged him hard. “What?”  he breathed. “Keiran! You know I love you, little one!” he said quietly, urgently.

            Keiran nodded, shrugging. “Yeah, Lee. I know,” he said, defeated. “I guess you wouldn’t wanna ask in case you change your mind, eh? We’ve only been together almost three years…maybe you haffa be together like four or maybe like five to know you really wanna be with me. I mean, Ben and Eli were together four, huh? Four years and Ben asked. So next year? Next Christmas? You’ll ask me then?” he whispered sadly, looking up at him.

            Lee wiped the tears away just as sadly, kissing his brow. “Keiran, baby,” he whispered. “I /love/ you. So so much,” he breathed. “I would marry you tomorrow if you wanted, little one. I never thought you were even thinking about marriage,” he said, brow furrowed. “You’ve never shown any interest. You’ve never said anything.”

            Keiran frowned, head-butting him. “I wanna marry you,” he whispered. “I want you to get down on one knee and a-ask me with a really pretty diamond ring and I’ll cry and say yes and we’ll make love and tell everybody and then we’ll be the ones getting ready to be married, Lee, not Ben and Eli. And we’ll wear matching tuxes but with a real pretty colour scheme, like a fuchsia or orange or something and I’ll have a bouquet ‘cause I always wanted one even though I’m a guy and I shouldn’t have one but outta us two, I’m definitely the girlier and it’ll be in fall and outside under a pretty archway and we’ll have the reception by the lake, at the cottage, and you’ll carry me up to bed wherever we go on our honeymoon – Ireland or France or something – and you’ll fuck me and get me pregnant and we’ll have beautiful gay babies and live happily ever after and Lee, that’s what I want!” he blurted.

            Lee lifted a brow, smiling faintly. “Yeah? That’s what you want, baby?” he asked, kissing his hair. Keiran nodded sadly, playing idly with his shirt again. “Yes.”

            Lee nodded and scooped him close. “Thank you for telling me, Keiran. It sounds lovely, my sweet. Just perfect, okay? A nice diamond ring, eh?”

            Keir nodded. “With a really big diamond, Lee. And a romantic inscription, okay? And you should ask me real romantically. Like with flowers and candles and everything.”

            Lee smiled, kissing his hairline. Keiran hiccupped.

            “Okay, Keiran. I think I can manage that,” he breathed. Keiran smiled shakily and looked up at him, nodding, running his thumb over his nose. “Yeah? You wanna, Lee?”

            Lee grinned. “I love you, Keiran.”

            Keir settled against him, sighing softly, stroking his hand over Lee’s chest. Lee caught his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Doesn’t have to be Christmas, though? When I ask?”

            Keir shrugged. Lee smiled. “I don’t want to look like I’m copying them, you see,” he purred. Keiran nodded his understanding.

            “Okay. It don’t have to be Christmas, Lee. Maybe a different holiday, then,” he said, nodding. Lee kissed his hair. “Alright, little one.”

            Keiran snuggled him happily. “You want me to have your babies, Lee? Huh?” he asked dreamily, stroking his thumb over the back of Lee’s hand. Lee grinned. “Yes. I do,” he assured him softly. “Dozens of them. And not one of them will be as bratty as their mama,” he purred. Keiran giggled.

            “You really wanna marry me, Lee?” he asked him quietly, looking up again. Lee kissed him gently, nodding. “Even if I’m gonna be bad forever? And I cost you a lotta money? And I yell and swear and sleepwalk?”

            Lee nipped his jaw, kissing him again. “Even then, Keiran. I want you to be mine, okay? You’re my sweet boy. I need you, okay? I need you and I want you. I love you,” he promised. Keiran smiled, nodding. “Okay, Lee. Okay. Love you, too.”

            Lee sighed, snuggling him down into the couch with him. Keiran easily settled in his arms, dreaming. After a while, he shifted and kissed Lee’s jaw. “Would you ask me sooner, Lee? If I told you I was pregnant now? To avoid scandal?”

            Lee laughed softly, shaking his head as he tipped him under himself and kissed him. “You are not, you little brat,” he purred, running his hands over Keir’s tummy and the man puffed it out, playfully.

            Lee swooped down and kissed him. “But maybe we could work on getting you pregnant, eh?” he suggested, smirking. Keiran giggled, readily nodding at that suggestion.

            “And we can paint the baby’s room fuchsia, huh? To match our wedding scheme,” Keiran said, giggling still as Lee scooped him up and whisked him off to bed. He felt pretty loved.